As you've surely noticed, UW is not ranked in the top 25 of either the Associated Press or coaches' preseason football polls. This is not a good thing.
But take heart Badger fans. There's one top 25 list whose exclusion of Wisconsin is cause for celebration: GQ's "America's Douchiest Colleges" list. Even better, Ohio State comes in at No. 19.
Home to the "excessive-school-pride-douche," GQ notes that students at tOSU are likely to dress for class as if they were the offensive line coach and spend their free time writing letters to Maurice Clarett in prison.
While I might have gone with Michigan as the douchiest Big Ten school, I can buy this; anyone who says that "The Ohio State University" thing unironically is, by definition, a douche. For as much hype as it gets, the script Ohio thing is pretty lame, too. It's like that stupid Minnesota chant. Doing either is basically bragging, "Ooohh, look! We can spell!"
And don't take this to mean we're douche-less here in Madison. You've got the "Buy student tickets and resell them at seven times face value" douche and the "Get hammered and don't go into the game until the second quarter" douche (I would occasionally fall into this group). For run-of-the-mill douches, you can just stop by the KK (while it's still open!) any night of the week.
At a time when it might be embarrassing to associate with the UW football team, at least we've got this.