Every time that I get in an argument with my parents, or do something stupid to embarrass them, I think to myself that there was a time when these people were actually overjoyed that I was in their lives. Twenty-five odd years ago, my parents walked into St. Agnes Hospital as a couple of regular people, but then walked out as a family. As their first born, my birth was instantly the most terrifying and wonderful moment of their lives at the same time. That moment that they experienced when they welcomed a newborn into the world is something I still can't even fathom having take place to me, and the older I get the less certain I am that it will happen. It was a moment though that happened to a very good friend of mine earlier this week, and my buddy Zar and his wife Melissa welcomed Eli Robert into the world.

Now, I don't want to go all "Scrubs" and have this column get worse and worse the more times that I mention babies, but I did want to take the time to congratulate the two. Zar has been a friend of mine since I was five years old, and I can't wait to meet this offspring of his, which I'll get the chance to do this weekend. Some of the greatest moments of mine and Zar's friendship include us reluctantly being on the Fondy swim team together, him passing out at last year's fantasy football draft, and the time that we bought a Furby to try to teach it to swear, only running over it with his Mazda about a half an hour later.

As for his wife, well, he met her through the same way that all my friends meet their girlfriends/wives, and that is that I liked them first. Seriously, I am a great person to have as a wingman if you're looking for a long time relationship. What I'll do is I'll start to talk to the girl, say something just funny enough to keep her interest, but then say something just creepy enough that she'll be ready to latch on to the first guy she sees. That's when you would sweep in, take the girl home, and then start a beautiful relationship together. I'm available for parties and bat mitzvahs, if you're interested.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand, and that is little baby Eli. This is a kid that is going to experience a completely different world than the worlds that you and I have experienced, especially when it comes to sports. Now if I know Zar as well as I think I do, he's going to have a football in this kid's hands as soon as he can grip one. He'll be a huge fan of all our favorite Wisconsin teams, and it will only be a matter of time before Eli experiences his first game at Miller Park. Still, he's going to grow up in a very different world, one that I hope Zar prepares him for. Here's somethings that Eli is in store for, both in sports and otherwise:

* Brett Favre in a Packers jersey is going to be an odd site to him. By the time he turns about five or six (or maybe nine or ten, you never know with Favre), the old gunslinger will be getting inducted into the Hall of Fame. There will be highlights shown of him in a Vikings uniform, a Jets uniform, and even the classic ones in a Falcons uniform, that by the time he sees Favre in a Packers jersey he's going to be confused. Unlike how Bro Montana will always be remembered as a 49er rather than a Chief, I see Favre going down in history as a Viking rather than a Packer. That's a crazy thing to write, but in ten years I'll think you'll agree with me.

* Hey dad, who is this Madden guy and why does he get all the attention on Cris Collinsworth's video game?

* Every Brewers game he watches for the next 26 years will be scattered with references to the 2008 Milwaukee Brewers team. There will be 2008 throwback days, people talking on and on about that one time we beat the Phillies in Game Three of the NLDS, and despite his short tenure with Milwaukee CC Sabathia is going to be one of the first Brewers players he recognizes. That's right, Eli is going to dread hearing people talk about 2008 the same way we got sick of people talking about how great 1982 was. Seriously, no team in the history of sports has celebrated a season in which they weren't the overall champions as much as Milwaukee has celebrated that 1982 team.

* He's going to wonder why his dad will occasionally sit down to watch the Las Vegas Bucks on a December evening instead of the more local Chicago Bulls. He's also going to find it hard to believe that the arena that he's watching Sesame Street Live! in used to house a pro basketball franchise (Seriously though, if any team is moving to Vegas, it's the Bucks. That nickname actually almost suits Sin City better than it does Milwaukee).

* Dad, why does that creepy guy who calls himself "Uncle Bart" always come over drunk and ramble about some column he used to write for some website back in his "glory days?"

* But most importantly, in about fifteen years or so, he's going to wonder why college football doesn't yet have a playoff system.

TAKE THAT BCS!

Seriously though, major congratulations to the two of you, and best of luck with the new family.

And now, for some serious time wasting, here is every Kramer entrance in the history of "Seinfeld":

My first impressions of Brewers announcer Brian Anderson when I saw him at the Winter Warm-Up about two years ago were, "Wow, this guy is short." I was a huge Darron Sutton fan, so at first I thought that Brian Anderson was a little boring and a little dry. But at this point, I really couldn't imagine listening to anyone else call Brewers games, and he did a fantastic job announcing the NLDS between the Phillies and the Rockies. Anderson has a great voice, and brings the right amount of excitement to the big plays. He's way more deserving of the play-by-play role than Chip Caray is, and I really do think he'll be one of the games top television announcers within the next five years. Bonus points for how many times he'll mention the Milwaukee Brewers during a game in which they are not involved in.

This Week's Crazy Call of The Week: As stated, I work in a call center. This week I talked with a lady from Georgia, with one of the thickest southern accents I've heard since working there. When she asked where I was from, I told her I was from Wisconsin, and she replied with, "Oh, you're one of those damn Yankees!" Now I'm not sure what she really meant by that, but I'm leaning towards thinking she was talking to me while wrapped upin a Confederate flag themed Snuggie.

The Vikings are 5-0. Whatever. They'll either choke down the stretch because they have Favre, or choke down the stretch because, well, that's what the Vikings do. Now I'm not really worried about the Bears too much either, but if they end up trading for T.O., well then, we might have a little bit of a problem. Of course, the Packers season is over if we don't win the next two games against Detroit and Cleveland. Oh, and winning that game on November 1st would make me feel a lot better about things too. But hey, the two teams we lost to are a combined 9-1, so that's something to think about (I told you the Bengals are for real).

I really don't get why so many of you keep bashing soccer when you won't even give it a chance. I know it's cool to bash something you don't understand, hell, I did the same to hockey until I finally decided to get into it. I know that the MLS isn't that great of a product, and I know that a lot of the guys that played soccer when you were in high school were d-bags, but I'd like you guys to put that aside and get behind the United States on their quest to World Cup glory. The U.S. actually clinched a birth on Saturday, but still had one more game to play last night against Costa Rica. A tie or better meant that they would win their qualifying group for the entire North American region. The U.S. was down 2-0 early, but rallied and scored a goal in the game's final seconds to notch the 2-2 and win their group. Afterwards, the team went over to the sidelines, celebrated with fans, and then did an impromptu announcement over the PA system thanking the fans for all their support, both for the team and for their teammate Charlie Davies, who was injured in a car accident earlier this week. The whole scene was surreal, and I've never had so many goosebumps over a tied game before. I'm not asking you to become a diehard, but if you could find it in your hearts to get behind this team once every four years and follow them next summer, that would be great. The World Cup is the greatest sporting event in all of the world, and it would be a shame of you to miss it.

Without a doubt, the most influential player in fantasy football this season has to be the Dolphins' Ronnie Brown. There may be others that are more consistent, but Brown has been electrifying in that Wildcat offense this season (sidenote - I don't really think it's necessary to rename the Wildcat for every team. I mean, how many times did we hear the phrase "Wild Horses" last weekend?) Plus, Brown has come up huge on two different Monday Night football games already this season, which means a lot of games came down to his performance, both good and bad. Just last week, I lost against him in one league and he was one yard away from giving me the win in another league. Tons of matchups are being decided by Brown so far, so he has to be the most influential.

By the way, remember when I decided to like hockey this season? Well, so far, my team the Buffalo Sabres leads the Northeast Division with three wins and one overtime loss for a total of seven points. Not a bad choice so far.

This Week's Bluff Climber of the Week:

Who exactly is that you ask? Well that's Shawna Waldron. Who exactly is that? Well, she's actually the girl that starred as Icebox in the 90's football movie "Little Giants". Bluff Climber status thanks to the whole Michael Jackson thing she's got going on.

And with that, Winks Thinks will be taking the week off next week. It's going to be a busy couple of weeks, as I'm not only heading up to the Packers game this Sunday but I'm also heading to Cleveland next week for a 5-day extravaganza centered around the Packers game in the Dawg Pound. It's our 3rd annual Packers road game trip, with the last two years taking place in St. Louis and Nashville, respectively. So I'll be absent next week, but until then you can always catch the fabulous, non-proof read work we do at The Bucky Channel. No worries there, I'll have an extensive report the week after that about the trip to Cleveland, and I'll introduce you to all the ladies I'll likely bring back to the hotel room that weekend. Or at least, all the ladies that I start talking to, only to have my friends swoop in and bring them back.

And in honor of heading to The Cleve, let's realive the videos that inspired me to go there in the first place...

See you in The Cleve...