Wisconsin Sports Blog - The Daily Drink : Out of Right Field

Out of Right Field — The "Best" Of

Right Field Bleachers — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:40:00 GMT

In honor of the last Out of Right Field post this season, I've arbitrarily decided on my own what I think the best parts of our Out of Right Field posts have been over the course of the season to create one big, super "best" of post. Yes! — Jared

Shortstop: Alright, let's stop adding insult to injury. — Bryan - 9/11/09

Taste of Tailgating:

The Breuben — I love brats. But I also go to a lot of Brewers games and a lot of grilling functions over the summer. By August, when I'm downing my 673rd bratwurst of the summer, they just don't pack the same punch. So, I try to mix it up a little. My newest change up on the standard grilled brat is a little something I call the Breuben. It's the tasty love child of a grilled brat and a reuben sandwich. All you need is brats, some rye bread, sauerkraut and thousand island dressing. I grilled my first breuben earlier this week and I give it high grades. It's a nice change-of-pace to keep your taste buds on edge as we ease into the prime brat-crushing months. And that Leine's Light in the picture? That washes it down well. — Jared - 5/1/09

Tailgating Music: Elliott "Song in the Air." Assuming you're of the portion of humanity who enjoys carnal privileges from time to time, nothing gets your girl's internal thirdbase coach frantically waving you home like some mood music. The last full-length from this Kentucky band will provide an ambient, spacey audio backdrop to whatever loving may ensue. Or if you'd rather just watch the game after dinner, blast Fugazi "The Argument" like you probably should all the time anyway. — Tyler - 7/13/09

Handy Heckle: I guess Juan Pierre has a pretty tiny head for an adult man. — Tyler - 7/10/09

The next home opponent is the Colorado Rockies. You almost feel bad making fun of anyone in the NL West short of the Dodgers. Well, we shouldn't. We, as Brewers fans, spent enough time looking up on the rest of the division. First, the obvious: The Rockies are in last place in the division, 12 games under .500 and 15.5 and a half games behind the Dodgers (going into play on Thursday. Do me a favor and focus on Garrett Atkins as I wasted a draft pick in fantasy on him. Atkins has been a huge disappointment and pretty much a waste of place batting .188 with an OBP of only .264 and slugging percentage of only .273. He's lost playing time to Ian Stewart. Don't forget they have Cubs throw-away Matt Murton - whose pubic hair is almost certainly fire engine red. — Joe - 6/5/09 - Joe singlehandedly inspired the Rockies to not suck for the entire rest of the season, and kick the Brewers asses this week!

Half Pint: Ruben "Buddy" Flores. Buddy was the return in the Bill Hall trade. An A-ball pitcher, I just hope Flores ends up doing ANYTHING for the Brewers at some point, as the Brewers are still paying much of Hall's salary this and next season. I doubt he will. Can you tell I didn't agree with DFAing Hall? — Tyler - 8/21/09

Blatz from the Pabst: John Jaha! How have we not mentioned him yet? - Tyler - 6/12/09

My first choice is Chris Bosio, but apparently he's been taken... twice. I'm going with Eddie Perez. I know he doesn't really count as he played with the Brewers in 2003, and it's also a horrible choice because he was really unimpressive and only played with the Brewers one year, but let me defend myself. OK, I can't defend the pick. For some reason I had this totally unjustifiable hard-on for the guy. I have a blind respect for just about all catchers, so I'm sure that's about 95 percent of the reason. He was super slow (that's the other 5 percent... he made me feel better about myself) and had middle-of-the-pack numbers, but he was my guy. Eddie left Milwaukee for Atlanta after the '03 season and hasn't been heard from since his 38 at-bats in 2005. I miss you Eddie. Alright, not really. — Joe - 7/10/09

Art:

Beer-Throwing Cubs Fan Douche Throughout Time - Jared - 8/14/09

Mini Cooper - Tyler - 8/7/09

Stetter Off Dead — Tyler - 7/24/09

Craigy McCounsell - Jared - 5/29/09

All Your Base Are Belong to Russ - Jared - 5/1/09

Alternate Uses for RFB Shirts:

1) Condoms. It's worth a try. — Tyler - 8/7/09

2) Very thin short sleeve sweater. — Tyler - 4/24/09

3) Guinea Pig hammock. What better gift to give to your favorite annoying, yet incredibly cute rodent? — Joe - 5/22/09

4) A towel for Shane Victorino (after Cub fan douche beer-throwing incident) — Bryan - 8/14/09

Friendly Fire: You know what drives me nuts? People who play catch with a football while tailgating. I know, its completely unjustified. I guess I'm just an angry person. I think I automatically associate those people with people who wear Packers jerseys to Brewers games, and I think many people have an inner hatred for those people. This is summer. Baseball season. If you must play catch, use baseball gloves and a baseball. Now that I think of it, I've actually seen very few people who can actually throw and catch a baseball while tailgating. Nevermind. Just use a damn football. At least you're less likely to hurt some innocent person. — Joe - 7/24/09

P.S. - There's hardly any Bryan stuff on there and not much Joe either. Joe disappeared from Out of Right Field posts a month or two ago so that helps explain that, but I know Bryan has contributed a lot more funny stuff that I'm missing. I'm just too lazy to go through anymore posts. So, I challenge you readers and (more likely) the other RFB guys to nominate other stuff to include in the Best of.

And if you have some time, go and check out our site at RightFieldBleachers.com.

Out of Right Field - Elimination Edition

Right Field Bleachers — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:02:00 GMT

Because the Brewers season is almost over, our Out of Right Field columns, too, are nearly numbered (at least until next season, if brought back). And even though Milwaukee has been mathematically ousted from playoff contention, I (Tyler) will still do my best to shed a positive light on our local team's play of late.

Shortstop: At least Bucks season will begin shortly... [cries like newborn].

Tailgating Tips: Chili Dogs. Myself, RFB Webmaster Aaron, and our site's own (or former?) Joe took in a game Saturday. And Aaron and I took part in some serious chilidogging (not chilidoggin, mind you). We used Smart Dogs and meatless chili, as he's a vegetarian and I'm trying upgrade myself from chubby Dave Grohl to normal-sized yet ugly Dave Grohl. After two double chili dogs apiece, our tailgating area looked like a murder scene. Joe was disgusted. Just put the (opened) can on the grill with your meats/soys and combine when both are warm to your liking. Wash it down with any canned beer shotgunned (I advise Blatz light). Repeat until picking up Dave Weathers' $3.75M option seems like a good idea.

Tailgating Music: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds "Nocturama" combines balls-out rock with heartfelt lamentations of love lost - the perfect soundtrack for getting hammered outdoors with your friends, and subsequently watching the team you love crumble before your eyes. Cave is perhaps best known for "Red Right Hand" - a song used heavily in the movie Scream. But his catalog as a whole is much more that that.

Handy Heckle: Forget that Philly as forged a perennial contender through great drafting and other predominately genius front office moves... they signed Geoff Jenkins to a fairly sizable contract in 2008 after Milwaukee declined his option. Jenkins promptly struggled, was platooned and is currently out of baseball (with the Phillies still paying him for this season). It worked out pretty well for Jenks though; he got a ring without having to do much, if any, work.

Half Pint: Chris Narveson. Since the MicroBrews aren't playing, why not name a half pint from earlier this season who's now benefiting the big league club? If that answer is unacceptable, then it's Maverick Lasker - solely because of the name.

Blatz from the Pabst: Charlie O'Brien. The poor man's "Rock" never did anything as a Brewer - or as a professional. I'm pretty sure (sure enough to not bother looking into it) he was a backup on Toronto's '93 Championship team. When I was a kid, I eagerly bought a signed O'Brien card for like $4. I was a stupid kid. I plan to add the card to a prize at the next Right Field Bleachers event. I can't wait to see the look on that sucker's face.

Art: "The Sounds of Sub-.500"

A while back, I penned a Brewers column for The Onion A.V. Club(s) Milwaukee and Madison in which I critiqued Milwaukee's at-bat music. With my submission, I included these three Photoshops for use if they so desired. They didn't. But far be it from me to spend upwards of 10 minutes on graphics work and have nobody see them. In order: Jason Kendall uses Mudvayne's "Dig", Frank Catalanotto uses "Your Love" by The Outfield and Craig Counsell struts his adolescent stuff to Jimi Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower".

Alternate Uses for RFB Shirts: 1. It's been so long since anyone's bought anything, I think purchasing one to actually wear would qualify as an alternate use by now. 2. Interrupt someone's acceptance speech by hurling a Cub Killer shirt at the winner. The world will be strangely interested and opinionated about it. 3. Noose?

Friendly Fire: Hitting signs to make more noise during rallies. In the right field bleachers - say, sections 103 or 104 - save situations (remember those?) and any other pivotal moment of a game is often sullied by some neanderthal slamming the adjacent Associated Bank sign along the line. I'm all for situational clapping, and cheering is always good in my book, but does punching an advertising tool in gorilla fashion actually help the team more than other cheering alternatives? It's annoying, makes you look like an idiot and makes me acknowledge ballpark advertising - which I've, until your display, conditioned myself to ignore.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an Associated Bank checking account to inexplicably open.

Out of Right Field: Sorry, Jared is off the Market. Ladies

Right Field Bleachers — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:31:00 GMT

"Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing A flowery band to bind us to the earth ..." - Keats

Bryan has returned to the Out of RF ranks and I, Tyler, am filling in for Jared who shall promise his heart to another tomorrow. Congrats, Jared. And congrats, reader. Out of RF is here!

Shortstop: Alright, let's stop adding insult to injury. — Bryan

Tailgating Tips: Want to try something new? Try Bison. The past two games, I've had bison burgers and bison brats and they've been amazing. They cook fast, have very little fat, but still have an amazing taste. — Bryan

Drink-wise, why not blottofy yourself with Wide Eye caffeinated schnapps? I’m pretty sure this stuff is getting pulled off the market, so if you (like me) can pull in a $5 bottle of this so-so swill, you may as well go for it. 2/3 Wide Eye and 1/3 7up should do the trick. I’m currently drinking this. Sheuhfusfhfh. See?!?! — Tyler

Tailgating Music: Paulson is a little known band from NJ that makes danceable indie pop that's sort of the Faint meets Minus the Bear on their "All at Once" disc. Listen to “Calling on You”, “Voids", "Slow Down”, “Ultra-High”, and “Just Shy” to see if you get hooked. — Bryan

Handy Heckle: When a team’s best story its backup third baseman’s heart not exploding while going 0 for 3 or its closer possibly not being 32, things aren’t exactly going well. Then again, at least their ahead of the Brewers in the standings. And, seriously, the Aaron Boone story is pretty cool. Bad heckle, I know.

EDIT: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! This is the 2nd week straight I wrote a Houston heckle for some reason. Ummmm, let's see... Arizona’s backup catcher fractured his testicle last season...

/pukes. Convinces self it was because of Wide Eye, though realizing it was mostly because of testi image in back of mind. — Tyler

Half Pint: Josh Butler. I’m pretty sure he’s already been listed by one of us – probably me – but Butler, the 2nd round pick, is making up for lost time by working his way up to Nashville (from A-Advanced Brevard) this season. Netted straight up for Gabe Gross last season, maybe Melvin pulled another rabbit from his ‘stache. Calling it: Butler and Chris Cody in the Brewers roto in 2011. — Tyler

Blatz from the Pabst: Not too long ago, FSWisconsin had a poll asking for the best Brewer closer of all time. Super-Mustachioed Rollie Fingers won, but I was amazed at how no one got even close. Not even Dan Plesac! So let me give the Sac-Man the pub he deserves.

From 1986-1992, the Brewers had a steady hand in their bullpen and that was first round draft pick Dan "The Sac Man" Plesac. During his time with the Brewers, Dan saved 133 games and had 5 years with an ERA under 3. In fact, he is still the Brewers all-time save leader with about 40 more saves than Rollie Fingers. Dan was also a 3 time All-Star and it is because of all these reasons that I believe that Dan deserved more than not even a quarter of the vote for all time best Brewer closer. — Bryan

Art: “Judy Gerut”

Earlier this season, a RFB commenter (I venture to guess the beloved Scottage Cheese) wished to voice his displeasure for Jody Gerut (who, might I add, is a great centerfielder for the money – especially when factoring his defensive prowess). The weapon of this person’s displeasure was inciting fans to refer to the utility outfielder by a woman’s name. Not realizing Jody can also be a girl’s name, this person’s anger-fueled protest at least inspired the following Photoshop. Mike Cameron re-signing failing, I sincerely hope to see a larger sample size of Gerut in 2010. For the haters, let this strangely arousing PSD serve as punishment. — Tyler

(Wedding-Themed) Alternate Uses for RFB Shirts: 1.) Tear off a sleeve to use as a sexy cotton garter. 2.) If you dare meander off the wedding registry – as so few are as bold to attempt – give the groom-to-be one of our shirts. At $15 (after shipping), it will be cheaper and more valued than the designer cheese grater your friend didn’t even want in the first place. 3.) Impromptu cuffs for bridesmaid-related fun. Fill in your own (entirely consensual) blanks on this one. — Tyler

Friendly Fire: People. That. Write. One. Word. Sentences. As. Means. Of. Effect. I’ve never met Dan Walsh in person, though I wish to at some point. Like his work as I do, even he’s guilty of this at times. Regardless, I’ve grown tired of the one. word. sentences. I liken this to 40-year-olds posting YouTube vids of “Epic Fails” or grandmas joining Facebook. Give up on the Brewers as you wish, bloggers (and I have recently) But. Don’t. Do. This. Anymore. Please!!! — Tyler

Wish Jared a happy marriage by buying a shirt at RightFieldBleachers.com. And kiss this sweet behind (right) goodbye forever, ladies.

Out of Right Field: Astronomical Improvement

Right Field Bleachers — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:55:00 GMT

TGIF, am I right, guys! LOLOLOL!!! Just kidding. Anyway, Right Field Bleachers is back with another edition of Out of Right Field. I (Tyler) will be flying solo on this one since Joe is running from something... maybe himself.

Shortstop: Did you hear Prince tried getting into the Dodgers clubhouse?!?!

Taste of Tailgating: It's an away game, so treat yourself to a meal on the town. Go somewhere you haven't been in a while. Mexican food sounds good about now. Move from the dining room to the bar and watch the game there while getting blasted on jumbo margaritas on the rocks. But be responsible, don't drive after drinking in excess unless you don't have time to get your car in the morning or you wish to avoid a parking ticket. But seriously, don't drink and drive. And you have to listen to my advice... I write for a sparsely-read blog you might have heard of on accident.

Tailgating Music: A guilty pleasure gets the nod this week. Resistant as I was to the band initially, I've become victim to the catchy works of Say Anything. I advise Volume 1 of the band's 2007 effort "In Defense of The Genre". Though a hipster mainstay, "In Defense" - as well as each Say Anything album - is thick in multi-layered, energetic and sing-along-able songs with a drug-addled and sexual underbelly. It'll take a while to stick, but it's worth a listen.

Handy Heckle: Milwaukee heads to Houston for a weekend series. Unlike RFB reader "Texas Craig", you probably won't be there, but keep these quick-hitters in mind when Houston comes to Miller Park next weekend. - Miguel Tejada is, in reality, 57 years old. - Lance Berkman looks like he's wearing perma-eye shadow. Dude looks so emo, he probably likes Say Anything ... wait. - Houston has played such average baseball this season, they even have a worse record than the Milwaukee Brewers! BURN!

Half Pint: Vinny Rottino. One week ago, the Brewers acquired Claudio Vargas from L.A. and, in doing do, sent Rottino and a sizeable chunk of my heart packing. I'll keep the lamentations on our own Web site, but I thought I'd give one last parting shot to my former (wow, that gets caught in the throat) favorite Brewers prospect... until he invariably returns to the Brewers as a minor league coach or bullpen catcher in a few years.

Blatz from the Pabst:Troy O'Leary kind of falls into the honor this week by way of his ex wife's interesting choice of vocation. But prior to when his former bride slept with strangers for money, O'Leary was a Brewer. It took six years for O'Leary to reach the bigs, but in 1993 and 1994 the Brewers outfielder hit a combined .280 with 2 HR and 10 RBI in just over 100 at bats. He then went to Boston where he became a solid role player, even posting 28 HR and 103 RBI on season. Not bad for a guy who married a future prostitute, eh?

Art: "Mini Cooper"

Cecil Cooper manages the Astros, but he'll always be loved by the Brewers faithful. To prove it, I've made Mini Cooper the first opposing team rendering in Out of Right Field history. Ideas are running low.

3 Alternate Uses for RFB Shirts: 1.) Condoms. It's worth a try. 2.) Fertility drug. It's worth a try. 3.) Buy one RFB design and wear it ironically instead of wearing a RFB design you consider better looking.

Friendly Fire: Quitters. As last Friday's trade deadline elapsed sans Brewers blockbuster trade, I swear one could feel the collective hard-on donned by the state of Wisconsin diminish to its previous flaccidity. Whether by blog, spoken sentiment, Tweet, Pony Express or otherwise... a multitude of "fans" - as we'll generously call them - called it a good 18-month run of somewhat following the Brewers and leaped back off the bandwagon to gear up for Packers season. It's one thing to be realistic; I was slightly disappointed a better pitcher than Claudio Vargas wasn't landed, the Cardinals are better than the Brewers on paper, the offense needs to be more consistent. It's another thing to COMPLETELY write off the season of a team just four games out of first with 54 games left in the season. I simply don't understand how people can litter their closets, workspaces, conversations and facebook statuses (stati?) with Brewers-related items, only to call the season a wash just 70 percent in.

Apart from injuries (which are expected over 162 games) and vast improvements on the bench with additions of Frank Catalanotto and (arguably) Jody Gerut, what's changed? Some close losses? Losses to teams with bad records? A different team adding Matt Holiday? The absence of a pitcher you'd like the Brewers to trade for? I think we all had our hopes on a smoother season, but lots can happen over two months - be it injuries to others teams, waiver trade, players returning from injury, luck... it's endless. Simple odds state the Brewers are less likely to make the playoffs than six other teams, so I can't say I'm expecting another playoff season at this point. However, I will continue to watch, hope and see value in the 2009 Brewers until they're officially toast. And should the Brewers do the (to many at this point) unthinkable, I'd appreciate if you fair weather-types didn't wedge yourselves back in (a la 2008) so those who unconditionally follow this team can enjoy the achievement all the more.

If you made it to the end of this, you deserve a cool shirt. Get one on the cheap at RightFieldBleachers.com.

Out of Right Field — And the Case of the Stolen Grill

Right Field Bleachers — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:51:29 GMT

Short stop: Couple games out of first. Half a season left. — Jared

Taste of Tailgating: My tip this week is not about food, but is advice related to tailgating: Empty the charcoal from your grill at least 15 minutes or so before you plan on heading into the stadium. This way, the grill will be cool enough to put into your trunk before you start the hike in. It's one less thing you have to remember after the game (I've seen several grills run over by people who forgot they were there) and no one can steal your grill or mess with it during the game.

Unfortunately, my fiancée did not follow this advice when I let her borrow my grill when she went to the game on Sunday... When she returned to her car after the game, the grill was gone.

The RFB grill lived a long and full life. In fact, the RFB crew used that same trusty grill for about five baseball seasons now. We grilled epic proportions of meat on that little ***. It was a trusty friend. And one I now know I wasn't prepared to lose...

So, Daily Drink friends, I am asking for your help tracking our grill down again. If you see a Char Broil grill like the one pictured below, please ruthlessly bludgeon the offenders and help return it to its home.

Our grill has some distinguishing characteristics to look for:

- Electrical tape top handle

- Layer of duct tape beneath electrical tape on top handle

- Partially melted "I (Beer Mug) Milwaukee" Right Field Bleachers bumper sticker on the top

- Partially melted Ball and Glove era Brewers sticker on the top

- All three handles are loose

- Levels of moxy rarely, if ever, found in a grilling apparatus

Any person who supplies information leading to the safe return of our grill will be handsomely rewarded with RFB gear (unless you're the a-holes who stole it). Send information to Jared@RightFieldBleachers.com.

We thank you for your prayers and support in these trying times. — Jared

Recommended Tailgating Music: I've been listening to the New Zealand band The Datsuns quite a bit lately. They deliver some driving rock tunes with garage rock and punk influences. It's the perfect soundtrack to punch out my rage over the loss of our grill. Plus, my favorite song by them is "MF From Hell," and there's no question whoever took that grill will be one sorry MF-er if I ever catch him or her. — Jared

Handy Heckle: The Reds regularly start Willy Taveras, Jerry Hairston, Laynce Nix and Johnny Gomes and have Dusty Baker managing the sorry crew. If you need help heckling this team, you suck at heckling. — Jared

Half Pint: Since I'm still on an All-Star hangover, this week's Half Pint is made up of the Sounds who made the AAA All-Star Game. Alcides Escobar, last week's Half Pint winner, is hitting .296 and has stolen 30 bases already. Relatively unknown outfielder Brendan Katin is hitting .271 with 19 home runs and 72 RBIs. Finally, reliever R.J. Swindle made the All-Star squad by posting a 0.93 ERA in over 38 innings. And, in case you missed it, some Brewers prospects were in the Futures game. Escobar was 2 for 4 with 2 runs scored and Brett Lawrie was 1-3 with a run scored. — Bryan

Blatz From the Past: This week's "Oh yeah, I remember that guy" is Franklin Stubbs. Before Wes Helms' bloated contract and body, Franklin Stubbs was given a large two year, $4 million contract in the offseason before 1991. The Brewers didn't have Greg Brock anymore and they wanted a strong first baseman. He had a strong year before hitting 23 home runs for Houston in 1990. However, in his two years with the Brewers, Stubbs only hit .213 and .229 and hit 20 home runs total. Stubbs was known for his glove, but had 8 errors at first both years. Stubbs ended his career with a .232 batting average and hit 104 HRs, again more than 1/4 of them came in one year... The best thing about Stubby was that John Jaha followed him. — Bryan

Art:

D'Amico's One Good Year, a frequent commenter at Right Field Bleachers and an all-around good guy, has often referred to Brewers infielder Craig Counsell as "Agro Craig" on our site. I had no idea how Craig earned that nickname ... until I was watching Nickelodeon the other day and there was Craig competing in Guts! Craig "Wildcat" Counsell dominated the Basic Training obstacle course and also took first in the Invisible Boat event, but struggled a bit in Slam Dunk and came in second to Bobby "The Bomber" Warchowski in that event. That set up the all-important Agro Crag climb. As you can tell by the screen capture I posted above from the show, Craig was the first to the top. I mean, just look at that steely look of determination... ("Suck it, Warchowski.")

Way to go, Agro Craig! — Jared

Alternate uses for RFB shirts:

1) Cut up a design, put it on a hanger and you have a RFB Car Flag!
2) Make a statement by showing Kalahari staff and management you want the mug back with the "Bring Back the Mug" shirt.
3) Beer Dry-Off-er. You know what a cooler is like on your second straight day using it: wet. Everything is cool, but soaked. A shirt to be a designated Beer Dry-Off-er will help make sure it doesn't look like you peed your pants. — Bryan

Friendly Fire: I'm cool with people coming to the Miller Park parking lot to tailgate even though they don't have a ticket. It's a fun atmosphere, no doubt. However, please leave the animals at home. I love dogs, cats and other pets, but it's unnecessary to bring them to a tailgate. I had the "pleasure" of seeing two dogs in the parking lot and one of these pooches was allowed to wander. The other one was like an accessory dog, you know, stays in the purse with his head popping out.

Here's a fun and true story for you: The other dog wandered straight to where our meat was while the grillmaster was putting on the brats, stole one of our burger patties and then ate it under our car. I'm pretty sure the dog was on, um, medication treatments. I don't want to profile or anything, but the dogs' owners had red, puffy eyes, said the words bro, dude, woah and man more than any other words, listened to non-stop Bob Marley for two hours and had a dog with the munchies. I provided the facts, you come up with the conclusion.

Anyway, what's with the dogs in the parking lot? Let's nip this before it becomes trendy and leave Buster at home with the AC. — Bryan

When the pain of the loss of our grill starts to fade, we'll probably have to buy a new one. Buy a shirt or two so we can afford it...

And stop by our flag (like our logo on our site) in the parking lot in front of the Gantner's Gardens pavillions next Saturday at 11:30 for a short memorial/prayer service. I promise to keep the eulogy under 20 minutes.