Wisconsin Sports Blog - The Daily Drink : Winks Thinks

Winks Thinks: The Basketball Party Edition

TheBuckyChannel — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:00:23 GMT

Inspired by the 24 hours of college basketball on ESPN this past week, I've decided to write about college basketball this week. Of all the sports there are to choose from, few of them are as captivating as basketball at the college level. It's some of the most pure basketball that is played, as it's just basketball without the interruption of large contracts, jaded superstars, or arena music blaring during a big play when it clearly shouldn't be. Instead, college hoops is full of players that are playing their hearts out for every ball, players that know this might be their last stop and are going to do everything to go out on top, full of the possibility of an upset on any given day, and stands packed with diehard students who wait outside for hours in line for a ticket. That's right, college basketball is back, and it's going to be a whirlwind season as it always is from now until the first week in April.

I'm not sure how much of it I'll actually watch though, as I'll be watching the NBA.

The college vs. NBA argument is one I've had a thousand times, although it's one I never seem to win. College basketball is awesome for all the reasons I've mentioned above, and there are few better times of the year than March Madness. I mean, there's a reason I've taken off work during the first round of the NCAA tournament every year since I graduated from college (last year was a little easier to take off, what with the unemployment and all). But even though the college hoops season has already started strong - we've almost seen huge upsets of Michigan State and Kansas, and Syracuse went down to a school few have ever heard of - I just can't get in to college basketball until the end of February.

Without a doubt, I'll be following the Badgers intently this season like I usually do, and I'll always keep an eye on Marquette as well, but the rest of the season means very little to me. I know it's got it's positives, but usually I just find it hard to really care about college basketball, and I can boil it down to three major reasons.

1. My Background

This is without a doubt the number reason I don't get into college basketball, and it all has to do with how I was raised. Growing up, I'm sure I watched a Badgers game here and there, but never was I as into it as I might become now. Hell, I didn't even know Marquette was a school in Wisconsin until like 6th grade. These are facts I probably shouldn't reveal as the author of a "sports column", but it's the truth. College basketball just wasn't something I followed growing up.

To make matters worse, I make the awful mistake of going to a Division-III college. I'm not going to sit here and argue the merits of D3 schools vs. D1 schools in this column, they both have their pros and cons, but when it comes to a sports environment, unless you are intended to keep living your high school glory by playing sports in D3, hands down D1 schools are the way to go. I guess I don't really regret my decision of going to the University of Wisconsin - La Crosse, but I often find myself wishing how things might be different when I'm watching a Badger game with guys that actually went to Madison for school, and I get a little jealous. To be able to watch a university on television every time they play and then say, "Hey, I went to that school," still blows my mind.

Make no mistake about it, I tried to get into sports at UW-La Crosse, I really did. In the same fashion that people try to relive their high school glory by playing D3 sports, I tried to relive my high school fandom by becoming a SuperFan for Eagles athletics. I distinctly remember me and my friend going to two UW-L sporting events, and then leaving by saying, "We're never coming back". The first occasion was the season-opening football game for La Crosse, and we had every intention of going crazy for every play. After a about a quarter and a half of some of the most dreadful football I've ever seen, we trucked it home to catch the end of the Badgers game. The second occasion was when the UW-L men's basketball team hosted their Midnight Madness event at the gymnasium, and we got ourselves all pumped up for the event. One of their first events was a dunk contest, and after seven straight guys missed their dunks, we realized we might be better off playing Madden for the rest of the evening.

Oh man, bringing that up just recalled a memory I was trying to suppress, but what the hey. I remember during the first week of college, I hung out with the two other guys that came from my high school, and we were looking to try to all branch out and make new friends together. Well, one of the girls we knew was fairly hot, so of course she attracted the attention of the D3 Jock Crowd. Within two weeks, we were at a "basketball party", hanging out with guys that actually played on the UW-La Crosse men's basketball team!

This is how impressionable I was right away in school, because I really thought we were hanging out with minor celebrities. Years later, I would realize that the guys we hung out with were too dumb to get into college without any basketball talent, and were rejected by every D1 and D2 school they applied for. I really wish I could take that moment back, specifically when I got drunk and confessed to the team's shooting guard how much I had a crush on the hot girl we hung out with, and then thought I was cool because one of the basketball players "cared" about me, and listened to my problems. If you know me by now you know exactly how that story ended - the shooting guard hooked up with my hot friend.

2. My Brain Is Full

I've used this reason before when I explained why I wasn't yet into hockey, and that is there is simply only so much space that my brain has reserved for sports knowledge. Between the space I use up for the NFL, NBA, and MLB, there isn't much room left for other information. Plus, my brain holds knowledge about the MLS and international soccer, something few people care about. Also I've been beginning to cram some NHL knowledge in there thanks to my red-hot Buffalo Sabres, and any of the space that was freed up is being dominated by my recent love for wrestling, whether that's a good or bad thing. Throughout this season, I'll watch college games and I'll learn more of the players names, but most of the information will wash right over me. There's just no room left.

I'm about to name every college basketball player I can think of off the top of my head, and this is the dead honest truth. Ready? Keaton Nankivil, Trevon Hughes, Jon Leuer, Jason Bohannon, Lazar Hayward, Kyle Singler. Done. How pathetic is that? I know there's more Badgers and Marquette guys I'd immediately recognize when I saw their names, but right now that's all I can come up with. There's simply no room left for me anymore.

That's where the NBA comes in. You see, I really don't even try to learn people's names in college, because to me it doesn't matter. It's going to do me no good when I do actually watch college basketball, because I don't really watch any games outside of Bucky and MU. I don't think it's relevant to me who the starting five is for Michigan State, UConn, North Carolina, or any other school for that matter because to me it's useless information. Knowing the names on these rosters is going to have no affect on me when I'm filling out the brackets, and these guys don't stay in school that long anyway. If they make it to the NBA, I'll learn about them then, which saves me time from learning the names of guys that end up playing in Europe for six years before moving back home and opening up a sports-themed restaurant decked out in their college memoribilia.

3. The NBA

The reason I lose when I talk about why the NBA is better than college basketball is because I always argue with diehard college guys. Guys that watch ESPN's Big Monday while I'm watching Monday Night RAW or 24. I don't miss too many Badgers games, as I've stated, but if it there were two games on television - one that pitted the top two teams in college basketball in the middle of the season, and the other was some game between the Nuggets and the Rockets on TNT, then I'm probably going to watch the game on TNT. I'll flip to the college game maybe during a commercial, or check out the score later online, because as a general sports fan I'm interested in who wins. But I'd rather sit down and watch some of the best basketball talent in all the world playing it out on the hardwood. Sure, fantasy sports has a little to do with that decision, but I mainly just like watching pro hoops better.

I know a lot of people say that in the NBA nobody plays defense and that it's a me-first league. And while that was true in the early part of the decade when guys like Allen Iverson were playing 1-on-5 ball and guys like Ricky Davis were shooting at their own bucket just for individual stats, the level of play in the NBA right now is about as good as it's ever been. The influx of international players and benefited the hustle and flow of the game, and the teams that are winning championships are doing so because of their team effort, and that every fulfills their role perfectly. Even the hopeless are having a great start to their season this year by running an exciting offense through Brandon Jennings and playing some solid defense under Scottie Skiles. The level of play in the NBA almost couldn't be better right now (except for the New York based teams, of course), and it's something I enjoy watching much more than the level of the college ranks.

So, to review - I don't hate college basketball. But outside of the Badgers, a few Marquette games, and the NCAA tournament, I don't care about it that much either. I'd just rather watch professional athletics over college sports, and that's about it.

Plus, that shooting guard stole my girl eight years ago! How can I not still hold a grudge for this!

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Five Random NFL Haiku's For Week 11

Cutler kills the Bears
Throwing picks and looking lost
Wish that would be Favre

Belichick was right
He played the percentages
Still a dumb call though

Saints and Colts stay hot
Both flirting with perfection
Super Bowl brings first loss?

Snelling and Campbell
Starting both in fantasy
Can't wait til next year

Upset the Cowboys
Packers looking to make run
Meet Favre in playoffs?

*********

I suppose as one of the two soccer fans of this site - hat tip to Intern Tim - I should speak about what happened in the World Cup Qualifier between France and Italy the other day. Thierry Henry used his hands not one but twice on an assist that allowed France to get the victory and punch their ticket to South Africa. The entire country of Ireland is furious about what happened, and government officials there are calling for an entire replay of the game. I can understand their frustration, as a World Cup birth was on the line, but there's really nothing they can do. I'm all for fairness in the game of soccer, but if a ref missed a call then a ref misses a call. I've reffed enough games myself to know that there's no way to call a perfect game, and it's unfortunate when the calls you do miss end up being the big ones. But what happens in that 90 minutes can't be changed, France won, that's the result, and both sides need to move on for better or for worse.

If you recall, a similar type of situation occurred to the United States in the 2002 World Cup, when a shot from an American attacker went off the arm of a German defender. Had a penalty been called, the United States could have tied the game and possibly gone to the World Cup semifinals. But the decision that was made on the field was final, and Germany went on to win the game. Soccer is a sport that doesn't use a replay system, and rightfully so. Part of what is so great about soccer is the uninterrupted play of the game, and I think sports lose a little bit when humor error is reduced. It's a terrible situation for Ireland, no doubt about it, but them's the shakes. Sorry Ireland!

**************

WWE Survivor Series Predictions (as usual, feel free to skip over this part)

Team Mickie (Mickie James, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim) vs. Team Michelle (Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Layla, and Alicia Fox) - Few things are worst in the WWE right now than the Divas division (besides the fact that every show right now has a guy beating up on local jobbers), and this match should prove why. Expect a ton of botched spots, and a win for Team Michelle, if for no other reason than the faces got the upperhand on Raw last week.

Team Morrison (John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay) vs. Team Miz (The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger) - Currently, John Morrison is the Intercontinental Champion on Smackdown while The Miz is the United States Champion on Raw, and the former tag team partners are going to continue their cross-brand rivalry in this match. The interesting thing though is that I actually expect Ziggler to beat Morrison for the Intercontinental title on this Friday's Smackdown, but that might take some luster out of the match. I think the babyfaces will be booked to win one of the Survivor Series matches this weekend, and since I don't think it will be one of the other two, I'm giving to this one to Morrision whether he's got the belt or not.

Team Kingston (Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, Christian, R-Truth) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, CM Punk, William Regal) - There's no question Orton's got the stronger team, and I think he gets the upper hand back in his rivarly with Kofi on Sunday night. I don't think we'll see Orton pin Kofi, but I think for sure Orton will get the decision. They need to make him look as strong as possible without making Kofi look weak if they are going to continue the Kingston push.

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio - Not a lot of people are buying the Batista heel turn, so I think he needs the win here to put him over the edge. I wouldn't mind a decisive Batista victory either, but that's more or less because I don't like Mysterio.

Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship - I'm not really sure how to look at these bookings for the titles, as both the Raw and Smackdown brands are pitting the current champion against a current tag team in triple threat matches. I hate Undertaker with the belt, because he's barely ever even on regular television, so I want him to lose it. I think that one of the champions will retain however, and all signs point to Undertaker winning his match and Cena losing his. But I think they might put the strap on Jericho to cause more dissension between him and Show, and then have Undertaker win it back at the next PPV. If I had to bet though, I'd put money on Taker.

John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWE Championship - I don't really care what happens in this match as long as Triple H doesn't win the belt again, although I think that's exactly what will happen. I hate Triple H with the belt, and nobody has been fond of the way that DeGeneration-X has been more worried about Hornswoggle lately than they have about this match, but Hunter is the boss's son-in-law so you never know. For the same reason I was a starting goalie in high school soccer, Triple H will win the belt this weekend.

****

Okay, fine. I suppose I should address why this column didn't come to your mailbox at the standard 10am Thursday time it usually does, and I know for one SportsBubbler enthusiast Travis is dying to know what happened. The rumors are true, I did actually have a date on Wednesday night, and even though I'm usually known as being "One and Done Winkler" on dates, this one went pretty well. This current situation is a little weird for me, because we actually seem to like each other as opposed to how my usual relationships with girls work. Normally, I pine for them for months while they have a boyfriend "that doesn't respect her like I would", then I finally tell the girl I like her when I'm drunk, although she could already tell, then I go home and fire up some depressing music from "The O.C." and cry myself to sleep. However, this one actually went like a real date and not like some dramatic situation I'd act out to make my life more like a television show, so this date on Wednesday night was a nice change of pace.

Speaking of depressing music from "The O.C.", here's Jason Derulo taking the most depressing song in that show's history and turning it into a smash hit!

With that, may everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy Blackout Wednesday as well. Winks Thinks will be taking the usual Thanksgiving week off, but I'll be back that week after that. But don't worry, you can always Bucky it up in the meantime.

See you at the Barnyard Sam reunion show...

Winks Thinks: The Back to Basics Edition

TheBuckyChannel — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:59:00 GMT

When you decide to fully commit to writing a blog, there are a lot of ideas that never seem to make it on your site. Maybe you don't have enough material to give the idea it's own posting, maybe you just don't have time to squeeze it in. I've decided to save those aborted ideas and turn them into a weekly posting for the Daily Drink, called "Winks Thinks".

And with that paragraph, Winks Thinks was born. That's the first paragraph I wrote when I started this thing a little over a year ago, and since then the column has evolved quite a bit (although admittedly it's basically turned into a weekly 1000-word bashing on Brett Favre). These days, the columns have become a little more structured, and I actually try to write legitimate articles, not just a bunch of random thoughts that seem less clever than they did a year ago. But, because I'm all about staying true to my roots, I thought I'd give the grab bag Larry King style column another try (and because I've already written about how McCarthy needs to be fired, how Brandon Jennings is the man, and I refuse to write a long column about whether or not the Brewers are going to get Jarrod Washburn). Let's get random on it.

* Actually, let me start with Brandon Jennings. OMG is this guy the man! Last night's win against the Nuggets was one of the best Bucks wins I've seen in sometime, althought I guess that's not saying much over these past few years. My first thoughts about the game last night were how disappointed I was because of how empty the Bradley Center was, but by the end of the first half - after Jennings made a big shot - I was ecstatic about how into the game the crowd was. The Bucks got a great reaction after they won the game, and it was good to see Jennings legitimately care about winning the sixth game of the season. This kid is changing the face of this franchise one game at a time, and it's really been amazing to see people care about the Bucks again just because of one guy. A 4-2 record isn't a reason to start buying playoff tickets, but I don't think anyone still expects Milwaukee to be a playoff team. The mere fact that we are somewhat relevant right now and that we have a budding superstar is enough for us.

I really hope Jennings doesn't change as he gets a taste of this league, and I don't think he will. Yeah, he scored 32 points last night, but it's crazy to think of this guy as a shoot-first point guard. Jennings has said that he wants to average 15 assists per night, something that is remarkable to hear from an NBA point guard. Going to Europe was the best thing that ever happened to this kid, and it's definitely going to have an affect on some of the younger kids struggling with college. As much as I love Jennings though, the pessimist in me is already dreading the day his contract runs out and he goes elsewhere...

But as I was saying, great win for the Bucks last night. My man Gweeds has been doing a fine job covering the games for The Bucky Channel, here's his take on last night.

* Speaking of contracts running out, I'm still sticking to my convictions that LeBron isn't going anywhere after this season. Something tells me that when it comes down to it, LeBron is a hometown guy and that he'd rather win in Cleveland. I think LeBron really does want to echo the career of Jordan, but more the dominating in one city than the baseball-playing Space Jam hijinks. While it's fun to picture him with the Knicks or going somewhere to play with Dwayne Wade, I just think he's staying with the Cavs. He's really all that city has right now as far as sports goes, and I think he realizes that. LeBron may not end up being a Cavalier his whole career, but he's not leaving that city anytime soon.

* If I'm the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I wear those jerseys for the rest of the season.

* FSN Wisconsin premiered some show the other day highlighting Aaron Rodgers, and it was almost more than I wanted to see. I love Rodgers as much as anybody, but hearing himself compare his life in San Diego to Entourage makes me start to think we might have another Ryan Braun on our hands. I just pray I never see Rodgers try to pull off a Remetee shirt.

* T.J. Lavin is the worst host of any show ever in the history of television. "(Insert name here while putting thumbs in pocket), you played hard, things got rough, you fought back though, unfortunately, you have to leave Thailand. Sure we'll see you again. Good luck." That's it T.J.? Come on buddy, even Louie Armstrong did a better job with Family Feud than you are doing with the Real World/Road Rules Challenge.

* In my opinion, the best way to test the level of any friendship is by driving with someone in the car. If there is no awkwardness during the drive, then you are true friends. If there is, you either have some work to do or are on a really bad date. Test the theory out sometime, it's legit.

* Remember when we wanted the Packers to trade for Larry Johnson? Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Although I wonder what our offense would look like this year if Thompson could have pulled off that Tony Gonzalez deal.

* Me and the roommates were looking for a little more excitement in our lives because lately all we do is sit around and watch TV with our laptops in front of us. So, we came up with a grand idea, and that is to have a movie night once per week. So instead of watching TV with the laptops, we watch a movie. Living the wild life at age 25, that's for sure. Anyway, the movie of choice this week was "National Treasure: Book of Secrets". Contrary to my previous beliefs, it wasn't that bad of a movie. I was hesitant to watch this sequel because of how much I couldn't stand the character of Riley in the first one. Riley is the character played by Justin Bartha, who also played the guy who goes missing in The Hangover. I just thought that character was so forced and annoying, almost like an episode of FX's "The League". But they really toned down the character of Riley in this one, and I actually didn't mind him. Of course, he's not the worst sidekick character in movie history, for that award goes to this man:

Jacob Pitts in Eurotrip, the worst movie character in the worst movie ever. Nice wannabe David Spade impression. How's your career been since?

* Over the last six months, I've contemplated leaving the wonderful world of Facebook at least one hundred times. But I never leave. The only and single reason I keep that account is to see pictures that other people post of me so that I can save them to my computer because my camera broke. Once I get a new camera, I'm gone. Maybe...

* Had my buddy Woos over the other day and one of the things we decided to do was to play a quality game of catch out in the backyard. Somehow, that turned into a game where the object was to throw a football through my car window. I won the game, I made it throught the window twice to his zero, but I also had to buy a roll of duct tape later that night to put my driver's side mirror back on. So maybe I didn't really "win". Then again, I once broke the window to my apartment in college trying to do the same thing. Live and learn I guess.

* I was very hesitant to get into this new ABC show "V", but I finally came around last week and watched the pilot. In a word, wow. Hands down, the best pilot I've seen since "Lost" debuted. It was so well put together that there was no way the second episode couldn't have been a disappointment. Still, ABC is dominating their new shows this season, with "V" and "Flash Forward", and the good things I've heard about "Modern Family". Just how good is "V"? The night after I watched it I woke up from nightmares in the middle of the night, but I refused to get out of bed even though I really, really had to go to the bathroom. Why? I was convinced their were aliens walking around my living room. I mean I was dead-set convinced. I even tried my method of pretending I was in a spaceship to help me get back to sleep, but no luck. That's how you know a show pulled off a good pilot.

By the way, is Anna on "V" not the creepiest/hottest chick that has ever lived on the face of this Earth? Or throughout outer space, for that matter...

* Few things are better than the awkward conversations that Alex Trebek has with his contestants during the second segment on Jeopardy.

* Rumors are swirling right now that Jon Gruden is going to be leaving the Monday Night Football booth next season to return to either the NFL or head to college football to be a head coach. While that might be a right decision for him, as young as he is, Gruden is a 3000% improvement in that both from Tony Kornheiser. Gruden is going to finish his career in broadcasting, and I'd rather he stayed that path now than went back into the grind. The insight Gruden brings to MNF is way better than the tired jokes Kornheiser tried, and it would be a shame to see him back on the sidelines.

* Speaking of head coaches, as much as we are salavating over the prospect of Bill Cowher coaching the Packers next season, I put the odds at that happening at 0%. Actually, is there a percent less than zero, because if there is, I would choose that. Cowher has said numerous times how much he loves the new job, and when has the guy we wanted ever turned out to actually be the new head coach. The last time this happened, most of us were gaga over Jim Bates, and then the Packers went and hired some guy we never heard of. I want it to happen too, but I just don't see it happening.

* Revised NFL Predictions at the midway point:

NFC Division Champions - Philadelphia Eagles, Arizona Cardinals, Minnesota Vikings, New Orleans Saints
NFC Wild Cards - Dallas Cowboys, New York Giants
NFC Championship - New Orleans Saints over Philadelphia Eagles

AFC Division Champions - New England Patriots, Indianapolis Colts, Denver Broncos, Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC Wild Cards - Cincinnati Bengals, San Diego Chargers
AFC Championship - Indianapolis Colts over Pittsburgh Steelers

Super Bowl - Indianapolis Colts over New Orleans Saints

Stanley Cup Champions - Buffalo Sabres!

* I go through these phases where instead of downloading sad emo tunes and listening to them on my iPod, I'll instead get really into new music. One of the stations I end up listening to a lot is 103.7 KISS FM. I know, I know, they tend to overplay the same five songs a little bit, but I've had them on overdrive for a while. And yet, I have no idea who this Justin Bieber kid is, or how he is popular. I've never heard a single radio station hype up a show at the Rave as much as KISS has for this Bieber kid is, and the only reason I'm writing this is in the hope that someone helps me by explaining who he is and why kids this young get famous. Please help me.

* You know your fantasy season is in jeopardy when the Browns' decision to start Brady Quinn over Derek Anderson this week leaves you scrambling for a quarterback.

* I'm really in the make or break stage of my wrestling fanship. I know a lot of people don't like it because of the campy storylines, or because they try to play it off like it's real when it's clearly fake, but I've been having a great time getting into wrestling this year. My problem is that I might be a little too into wrestling, because I'm legitimately mad about outcomes of the matches sometimes. And it's not like, "Oh my God, why didn't he win that match, I like him better!", but my frustration is more along the lines of "Come on, why didn't they have the lesser wrestler win in order to push his storyline better for the future of the company!" Yep, I'm that invested in the WWE right now. I watch six hours of programming per week, and according to Google Chrome, two of the top four websites I visit are wrestling related. You'd think that a guy that writes a sports column and a sports blog would be searching NFL.com, MLB.com, NHL.com and the like, but nope, I'm all over the WWE message boards instead. This is an addiction that has gone too far, and I think that I'm creeping on the point of obsession. It's no joke people, my dream job has shifted from being a sports anchor to working on the staff of WWE Creative. Lord help us all.

And, only because we've already referenced the movie, here's the only good part from it...

See you on the Bucks bandwagon...

We come in peace. Always.

Winks Thinks: The More Cowbell Edition

TheBuckyChannel — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:04:42 GMT

For obvious reasons, last weekend was not a very good one if you're a die-hard fan of all things Wisconsin sports. Reasons which I swore I would never talk about again, and I will uphold that pledge in my column here today. But lately, after what occured at Lambeau on Sunday, I'm beginning to ask myself if these disappointments are even surprising anymore. Are we really surprised when the Packers can't defend their home turf in one of their biggest regular season games of all-time? Are we really surprised that the Brewers came nowhere near the playoffs this season after getting our hopes up last year? And are we really that surprised when the Bucks dominated the Bulls for most of the game on Tuesday night only to blow it at the end (and that's assuming you still care about the Bucks). Unfortunately, the answer has become that we're not really surprised by any of this, and in fact, it's almost as if we are getting to the point where we expect these things to happen.

Now, I really don't want to turn this into a column where I'm a Debbie Downer and I rip on everything that I love. And I don't want this to turn into one of those "State of Wisconsin Sports" that you might see written in a half-assed manner by the sports editor in your local paper around the time of the Presidential State of the Union Address. All that this column is meant to be is a simple declaration that I'm sick of feeling the way I felt last Sunday after the Packers lost. I'm sick of guys like Michael Strahan saying, "Midwestern fans are nice. If Favre does well as a Viking, those nice fans are going to be conflicted." Nice? That's the best term you can come up with to describe us? Nice isn't good. Nice doesn't win football games. Nice doesn't win championships. Nice teams finish last.

The biggest thing that this state is missing as far as sports go is a sense of swagger. We have dashes of it here and there, but Brandon Jennings having three good games and the Packers have a good preseason doesn't count as having swagger. This state's sports scene is missing what I call the "More Cowbell Factor", a factor in direct correlation to the popular Will Ferrell Saturday Night Live sketch. If not familiar, I offer you a refresher.

What I mean is that while "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult is a great song, it's nowhere near great until you add that cowbell. That instrument helps gives that song that extra oomph, that extra swagger, that extra ingredient, all to help it become one of the great musical rock ballards of all-time (note: previous sentence may be an exaggeration). That's what Wisconsin is missing. There's no swagger, there's no cowbell.

The biggest problem with Wisconsin sports these days is that we already know what we're getting with our teams before the season even starts, because the teams we root for have become so stale and predictable. The Brewers? They'll start off hot, have a great May, stumble in the summer and come up short in the end. The Packers? They'll either win one playoff game and lose the second, or they'll go under .500. The Bucks? Last place in the Central, of course. The Badgers football team? They'll beat the mid-majors, lose to the big boys in the Big Ten, beat up on the scrubs of the Big Ten, but finish well enough to lose a bowl game to the 4th place team from the SEC. The Badgers hoops team? They'll start the season unranked, play well throughout the season, get a five-seven seed in the tournament, and then lose in the second round. It's all been there done that right now, and I'd like a little more unpredictability in our teams. But we're not going to change any of this until the entire culture of Wisconsin sports changes. Here's five things that need to be achieved.

1. We need better coaches.

How your team plays is ultimately a reflection of your coach, and if your coach is mediocre than your team is going to be mediocre. Of all the coaches in Wisconsin, I only think that two of them are the right fit for their teams. Scott Skiles and Bo Ryan. Bo Ryan knows how to get a lot of mileage out of a car even when the tank is on empty, and that's what he's been with the Badgers for quite some time. Scott Skiles bring a no-nonsense attitude to the Bucks that will at least have them playing hard even though their roster needs an absolute overhaul. For now, those two get a reprieve from me.

The other coaches though, they can be replaced. I am a huge Mike McCarthy guy, but that's more because I want to like him rather than I actually do like him. At times, I feel McCarthy outcoaches himself and worries too much about failure to actually succeed (both Vikings games being a perfect example of that). McCarthy seems to always be waiting for tomorrow, as if things will get fixed the next day, or the day after that. I think he needs to stop being so soft, and get more intense. Maybe somewhere along the lines of a Bill Cowher is what I'd like to see out of him, or out of a Packers coach in general. Someone that has an edge to them, a swagger, rather than someone who always looks like he just ate a bad brick of cheese.

As for Ken Macha, he's alright, but at times I just feel like he's a more successful version of Ned Yost. Too often last season I found myself comparing him to Yost than I did being impressed with the way he managed. He's another guy that is just a little too soft-spoken for me, and I think that the young Brewers team would be better suited to have a more outgoing manager than some Grandpa babysitting Dale Sveum in the dugout.

And Bret Bielema, well, he's got an Iowa Hawkeyes tattoo, so yeah, he can be replaced.

2. We need more star athletes.

Not only do we need more power at the coaching position, but we need more guys that are going to turn heads on the field and on the court. We need guys like Brandon Jennings, guys who have already brought more credibility to the Bucks in three NBA games than Michael Redd has since he's been here. We need guys like Greg Jennings and Donald Driver, guys who are electric both on and off the field. Guys like Prince Fielder, who can change any game with one swing of the bat, and gives a Brewers a legitimate force in the lineup. I guess you could throw Ryan Braun in there too, as long as we all agree that he'd be a huge douchebag if he wasn't on the Brewers. We also need more guys like Dwayne Wade at Marquette, and it'd be nice to actually know who some of the players on the Badgers were before the first game of each season, in both football and basketball. I mean, I can only be so excited for Keaton Nankivil. We need stars, we need playmakers, we need attitude. I campaigned hard for both Warren Sapp and Randy Moss when the Packers were flirting with them because of the star power they would have brought to the state. But instead we got Ryan Pickett and Duke Preston, so whatever.

3. We need to stop living in the past.

Being great is such a rare thing in Wisconsin that we often end up rooting for losers years after the memories should have faded away. You would have thought the 1982 Brewers swept the World Series three years in a row they way they are loved in Milwaukee, and hopefully we aren't looking at the 2008 team with the same eyes twenty years down the road. The 2001 Bucks "should have" won the Eastern Conference Finals and won the NBA championship so much to the point that it's like we pretend that they did. The Packers actually did have a solid team in the 1990's, but winning only one Super Bowl with Brett Favre in his prime is a major disappointment. We've only won one major title in the last thirty years, let's stop celebrating the losers.

Still disagree with me that we live in the past? How many of your friends houses have a replica football for the 1994 Rose Bowl Badgers in their home (guilty)? How many times do you still see "1996 NFC Central Champions" sweatshirts during NFL Sundays? How many of us sport the old ball and glove Brewers logo on our hats rather than the current logo (guilty again)? Unless something changes, the better days have been behind us, and we're all too well aware of it.

4. Conversely, we need to care more about the present.

I understand that Packers season tickets cost like $30,000 these days with seat licenses and everything, but we need to put the home back in home-field advantage. Sure, Lambeau was electric last weekend, but there was still way too much purple there as many Packers fans made the quick buck instead of making Lambeau as intimidating as can be. We need to start gobbling up tickets to Miller Park sooner, so that Milwaukee doesn't become Chicago North whenever the Cubs come to town. And as much as the live NBA experience might suck, we need to at least fill up the Bradley Center to the point that there still will be a Bucks team in Milwaukee five years from now.

5. But ultimately, we might need to lower our expectations.

I guess this points contradicts everything I'm trying to say, but as I sit here and gripe about Wisconsin sports, I have to at least be thankful that at least things aren't any worse. Sure, the Bucks are predicted to only win on nights when the other team is missing their entire starting five due to injury, but at least things aren't as bad for us as they are for teams like the Washington Nationals or the Detroit Lions. At least our teams can stay somewhat competitive, and not be a complete cupcake on our opponents schedules. At least things aren't worse.

But I guess that kind of is my point. Instead of thinking like McCarthy and playing not to lose, we as a state need to start taking more risks and start doing what it takes to becoming champions. Look at a city like Boston, a city which has seen their baseball, football, and basketball teams win major championships within the last five years. Could you even imagine if the Brewers, Bucks, and Packers all won a championship within the next five years? If we lived in a state were our teams were so consistently good that it wouldn't be as rare as Halley's Comet to see the Bucks have a nationally televised game? If we lived in a state where our teams were actually predicted to win championships because they were actually good, and not just because they had one good game against the Arizona Cardinals in August? I can't even imagine anything like that happening, because that's not what I've come to expect. We expect mediocrity, and I think it's time that changes. Because if I'm not mistaken, this state has a fever, and the only prescription is More Cowbell.

And yes, the only reason I chose the More Cowbell theme for my filler of a column this week was so that I could show off this picture of me rocking the More Cowbell costume for Halloween. I also wanted to show off my treasure trail to any of the fine ladies reading out there this week. By the way, how is that when I go out dressed up like a normal person, girls won't talk to me even if I were to buy them drinks for the whole night, but when I go out dressed up like this vagabond, I am a modern day Casanova (note: previous sentence may also be an exaggeration).

See you in my Flash Forward...

Winks Thinks: The Cleveland Show Edition

TheBuckyChannel — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:54:02 GMT

I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons it look me so long to find a job last year was because there were several cases in which I tried to use these columns as part of my portfolio (and the fact that I look like a douche, as portrayed in the picture above). Some of these Winks Thinks may actually be passable for legitimate journalism, but the majority of them are just insights as to why no one should ever employ me. Sometimes I say things so revealing, it's a wonder Walsh even lets me write on this site. And sometimes I write articles so embarrassing, that I ashamed of myself because I know my grandma might be reading it. Well, this is going to be one of those columns.

Last weekend, my much anticipated trip to Cleveland for the Packers/Browns game finally game to fruition. Along with thirteen other diehards, we traveled the excess of toll roads and made it to The Cleve late Friday afteroon. It's the third straight year we've planned an annual Packers game road trip, a trip we used to call the "Put 'Er In The Old Vice Tour" when we still liked Favre. But now that he sucks, we've renamed it the "Put 'Er There" trip, as that is what my buddy Udee mistakenly called it throughout the first trip. So that's a little history for you. Of course, these trips haven't always been just about the game itself. For the most part, the game is the calm three hours during an otherwise weekend of pure insanity. After neaIrly dying on the way to St. Louis two years ago, and after the shenanigans in Nashburg last year, The Cleve had a lot to live up to. But without a doubt, it most definitely did. In fact, I'm surprised I still have enough brain cells left to tell you about it.

First of all, you know the weekend is going to be a long one when one of the guys brings a fold-up beer pong table to the hotel room. And with fourteen guys, you're definitely going to go through a lot of beer when you make a double-elimination beer pong tournament. Granted, because I'm not very good at anything, I was the weak link of the beer pong tournament all weekend. If any of you play the "overshoot" rule then you know why I ended up drinking a lot of my opponent's beer. So before I even had my first taste of the Cleveland nightlife, I was already very excited to be there.

Naturally, after a few games of beer pong, you're going to be a little hungry, so we went to this bar called Scorchers and fellow Bucky Channel writer Gweeds and I ate the bar out of hot wings and onion rings, always a healthy food choice. After our meal, we did the obligatory "Where are you from? / High Fives" conversation that all Packers fans do with each other at away games, and then explored around the bar a little bit. It was then when I saw the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my entire life:

You know those claw drop games that are in places like Chuck E Cheese and Discovery Zone, where you spend 50 cents and can win a stuffed animal? That's right, this is the exact same kind of thing only it costs two bucks a try and it's a tank full of LIVE LOBSTERS!!! I was floored that something like this actually existed, so naturally I had to spend whatever it took to win myself a lobster (which the bar would then cook for you). Well, this being the first night I didn't want to spend too much money too quickly, so I decided to call it quits twenty dollars in. Yep, I spent twenty dollars on that stupid thing. I still don't know how people actually win this game, the closest I got was a lobster just above the water before he shimmied his way back to safety. In hindsight, I really wish I would have kept trying, because lobsters are delicious.

So with that good base of wings and beer in me (minus the should have been eaten lobster, of course), I only had one mission in mind for the entire trip, and that was to become the trip's MVP. Each year, an MVP of the trip is determined after we decide who either had the biggest impact on the trip or who had the most impressive performance. That, and that alone, was my one goal of the entire weekend. On Friday night, I decided the best way to achieve that would be to find a Bluff Climber, Winks Thinks lingo for a girl that looks a lot better in the evening then she does when you wake up next to her. And with girls galore at the next bar we went to, The Blind Pig, I was not going to go home empty handed.

Only I did exactly that. I feel creepy about it now, but I must have gone up to every girl in that bar and tried to do the creepy guy dance on her. The kind of dance you would do on someone you kind of know but really only talk to when you're drunk. The kind of dance that works a lot better at house parties than it does when you're twenty-five years old and out at a bar. So yeah, that was pretty depressing. After that 0-for-the century performance, I decided that hooking up with a bluff climber was not going to be my ticket to win the trip's MVP. Minus the Milf Bluff Climber I danced with a little the following night - in front of her way hotter daughter, no less - I didn't end up falling in love with anyone this year.

The next day we decided that since Cleveland is actually a pretty cool town, we didn't want to spend the whole weekend in an altered state. On Saturday afternoon, half of our group decided to check out the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, right on the shores of Lake Erie. This is the one part of the trip I'm not really sure how to describe, although I could probably end up writing a whole column on it. I was absolutely mesmorized by what I saw in this museum. My first thoughts were that it would be cool to see some stuff, and it would maybe take about an hour to just browse around. But if you want to actually see and study every thing they have there, it might take an entire week. Besides the posters and the outfits and the things you'd expect to see, what amazed me most were the letters and documents that were kept throughout the years. Letters from Pete Townsend to a journalist about how much he loved The Kinks, rejection letters from record companies to a young U2, and the original notebook that Billy Joel wrote "We Didn't Start the Fire" on. Just an insane amount of stuff at this place. I think the thing that amazed me the most was the wall featuring stuff from Jim Morrison's life - from drawings he mad his mother in first grade, to his cub scout uniform, to the letter his dad wrote the police after they arrested him for getting naked on a Miami stage. I probably spent 45 minutes looking at purely Jim Morrison stuff, and I have never really been a fan of The Doors. The place is that awesome. If you like music in any way at all whatsoever, you have to get to that museum.

Follow that experience up with the second most insane thing I've ever seen in my life, which is the giant "Free" stamp sitting in a park in downtown Cleveland. I'm not sure what the hell it's supposed to mean, and I'm actually not sure I want to, but some how the people of Cleveland thought it would be cool to showcase this. As the passerby said to me as we were taking the picture, "Man, did you guys really come all the way from Wisconsin to rag on this stupid thing?"

Um, yes. Yes we did.

After we got our learning experience for the trip out of the day, it was time to do one thing and one thing only, and that was to get ourselves pumped up for the Packers game. Naturally, the way to do this was another beer pong tournament, followed by round two at the bars. Well, round two at the bars didn't last very long for me, and that's where the problems for the weekend started to begin. Earlier I mentioned my friend Udes, and he was once again with us on the strip. Well, the Saturday during the weekend just happened to be this kid's birthday, so what do guys do on their friends birthday? Yep, strip club. This wasn't just any strip club either, it was the kind of strip club you see on something like Entourage. For the record, I've only been to two strip clubs in my life, and one was in Fond du Lac, so my experience isn't very extensive. That bit of information is crucial to the next part of the story.

Because it was Udes' birthday, we had do to something for him, so me and another friend arraigned to have three women dance on him on the stage. First of all, a giant no thank you to the guys that helped arraigned this for us. There is no worse guy in America than the guy that works at the strip club, as their ego is naturally inflated be like 100. Anyways, I found out just how seriously they take their jobs when I tried popping a picture with my cell phone while Udes was on the stage. Anyone who has ever been to a strip club knows that you don't take pictures, but I guess I was the one person in this world that didn't. Even so, one of my best friends was not only being danced on by three hotties, but they were in the middle of taking of his shirt and then for some reason taking off his pants as well. How do you not get a picture of that? Anyways, after quarreling with a bouncer for a good five minutes, the fine people at Christie's let me stay, and the night continued on.

After that interesting conversation, all I wanted to do was sit down and relax for a few minutes. But whether it was the club wanted a piece of my money or not, a chick tractor beamed me and gave me a good old three minute lap dance, one that I was not really looking for. After she was done - and for those of you wondering, this was definitely the hottest chick I've ever interacted with in my life - she then said, "20 Bucks". For some reason, I thought the lap dance was complimentary, but then again, I also just tried to take a picture of my friend a strip club, so you be the judge. When all I could scrounge up at the time was 15 bucks, she then said, "There's an ATM right over there." This was someone who was not going to take no for an answer, which I found both threatening and desireable at the same time.

So I told her I'd be right back, and proceeded to go to the ATM. I could have bolted, but I'm an honest man. As I was taking out the money (12 dollar ATM fee, ps) I turned around and noticed that the chick was now directly behind me, shirt off, waiting for her money. I was just followed to the ATM by a stripper, something that I'm going to make sure never happens to me again in my life. Anyway, I just threw another twenty at her and walked away, because I just did not feel like asking for change for someone who just put their chest in my face. After a performance like that, my MVP chances were starting to look pretty slim. The rest of the night was a blur, but I'm pretty sure at one point I was given a swirlie. I'll just leave that sentence as it is.

Finally, we were at Sunday morning, the highlight of the trip. It was gameday in Cleveland, and their was a pretty good atmosphere downtown for the game. There are few things like NFL Sundays in an actual NFL city, and this was no different, despite the fact that the Browns are terrible. The scene at some bars was pretty good, but there were very few people tailgaiting or anything like that. Packers fans were definitely outnumbered by Browns fans, but I felt that we were going to have a pretty good showing at the game. That was until we actually headed up to the stadium, and were surrounded in a sea of Brown.

This is when I started to get a tad bit annoying. The Browns and Packers only play once about every four years, so the fanbases don't really have a lot of things to rip on each other for. So what was the number one thing Browns fans decided to yell at me (besides eating cheese)? You guessed it, Brett Favre. Every time I stopped off in the bathroom or got one on one with a Browns fan, they brought up Brett Favre. This, even though our current quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, was in the middle of shredding them up on the field for the entire afternoon. I just didn't get why this is what they were ripping on us for, especially as they were a franchise that has gone through Kelly Holcomb, Charlie Fyre, Jeff Garcia, Tim Couch, Derek Anderson, and countless others. It was so annoying.

I didn't want to respond really, and to be honest a lot of Browns fans were surprised that we hated Brett Favre now. I think they thought that we'd wish he was still a Packer, when that couldn't be further from the truth. But, because I'm kind of a jerk as well, I decided to follow up with responses like "Hey, what was your record in 1998 again?" and other comments referencing when the Browns moved. In fact, I tried to compare Favre going to Minnesota to the Browns leaving for Baltimore to one guy, and I think he was ready to throw down on me for being an idiot. Still, Browns fans for the most part were not very welcoming, but I guess that's to be expected for a team that can't even get a sack on the Packers offensive line. Overall, not very impressed with the Browns fanbase.

That last sentence couldn't be more true than when half of the stadium was gone midway through the third quarter. The stadium's escalators were carrying jobs out of Cleveland so fast that before you knew it, all that was left was about 5,000 Packers fans even though there was still five minutes on the clock in the fourth quarter. We definitely got the "Go Pack Go" chant going at that part in the game, and it couldn't have been more awesome. Actually, I do credit Cleveland fans for one thing, as when we tried to chant "Go Pack Go" in the first quarter, they responded with "Go Back Home, Go Back Home". Maybe you've heard that one before, but I never have, and I thought it was pretty clever. So props for that.

As for the game itself, as I'm going to try to relate this column to sports for just one moment here, it was a very good performance by the Green and Gold. Learning that Ryan Grant still knows how to rush is a very comforting feeling, and Rodgers is continuing to at least put himself in the running for an MVP award. A.J. Hawk looked great on defense finally, and the whole team as a whole played with the swagger they were lacking since the preseason. Maybe it was because this game felt more like a preseason game than anything else, but hey, a win is a win. Now, you can't judge a team based off victories against Detroit and Cleveland, but I think the Packers have things figured out a little better than the last time they played Minnesota, and I have no doubt that the Packers will knock off the Vikings this weekend (although I did say that last time, I know).

How the rest of my weekend went, well, I wish I knew. I did plan on taking it easy for the rest of Sunday afternoon, but after a particular Tracy Byrd song played on the jukebox, things went downhill from there. Me and my roomate Bear decided to follow the "instructions" to the song by going the full ten rounds of Jose Cuervo as the song suggests. What a mistake that turned out to be.

Round One - Doing well, watching the Falcons/Cowboys game and regretting my decision to start Matt Ryan over Tony Romo.

Round Two - Bear heads to the bathroom when someone starts yelling "Hey, Mark Tauscher" to him. Bear is confused as to why this is happening, only to realize that the person yelling it is none other than former Packers center Frank Winters. Bear played center in high school, so I know this made his year. I guess Winters lives down there, but turns out he's not as friendly as we thought. I regret not yelling at him for the year in fantasy when I named my team "Ol' Bag of Donuts" only to lose in the championship game. That was in 2002. I haven't been to the playoffs since. It's all Frank's fault, don't you tell me any different.

Round Three - This actually happened. Some guy came up to my friend Woos to tell him that he talked to Brett Favre's dad in Memphis last weekend, and said that Brett would be back there to sign autographs sometime this weekend. My friend Woos deadpanned to him, "Brett Favre's dad has been dead for six years". I have never seen anyone look so stupid after that. What an idiot. That's Cleveland for you.

Round Four - Awkward flirting with female bartender that goes nowhere. Standard.

Round Five - New bar.

Round Six - It's a bar and restaurant, so I order a pizza and devour it completely. I then knock some coleslaw all over the place, putting a red flag right square on my head as far as the bartender is concerned.

Round Seven - Escorted by a policeman out of the bar.

Round Eight - Called ex-girlfriend to tell her what just happened, thinking she would be impressed. She most definitely was not.

Round Nine - A quick reversal of the shirts I'm wearing and I'm back in the bar.

Round Ten - ZZZ. And that's the weekend. No MVP for me, although I was voted the trip's least valueable player. To review: 10 rounds, swirlee, no bluff climbers, followed by stripper to ATM, took picture at strip club, passed out early on Sunday. Yeah, not my best weekend. But one of the most fun times I've ever had. Can't wait to do it again next year.

Thanks, Moses Cleaveland.

See you next year, Boston?

Winks Thinks: The Baby Eli Edition

TheBuckyChannel — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:39:34 GMT

Every time that I get in an argument with my parents, or do something stupid to embarrass them, I think to myself that there was a time when these people were actually overjoyed that I was in their lives. Twenty-five odd years ago, my parents walked into St. Agnes Hospital as a couple of regular people, but then walked out as a family. As their first born, my birth was instantly the most terrifying and wonderful moment of their lives at the same time. That moment that they experienced when they welcomed a newborn into the world is something I still can't even fathom having take place to me, and the older I get the less certain I am that it will happen. It was a moment though that happened to a very good friend of mine earlier this week, and my buddy Zar and his wife Melissa welcomed Eli Robert into the world.

Now, I don't want to go all "Scrubs" and have this column get worse and worse the more times that I mention babies, but I did want to take the time to congratulate the two. Zar has been a friend of mine since I was five years old, and I can't wait to meet this offspring of his, which I'll get the chance to do this weekend. Some of the greatest moments of mine and Zar's friendship include us reluctantly being on the Fondy swim team together, him passing out at last year's fantasy football draft, and the time that we bought a Furby to try to teach it to swear, only running over it with his Mazda about a half an hour later.

As for his wife, well, he met her through the same way that all my friends meet their girlfriends/wives, and that is that I liked them first. Seriously, I am a great person to have as a wingman if you're looking for a long time relationship. What I'll do is I'll start to talk to the girl, say something just funny enough to keep her interest, but then say something just creepy enough that she'll be ready to latch on to the first guy she sees. That's when you would sweep in, take the girl home, and then start a beautiful relationship together. I'm available for parties and bat mitzvahs, if you're interested.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand, and that is little baby Eli. This is a kid that is going to experience a completely different world than the worlds that you and I have experienced, especially when it comes to sports. Now if I know Zar as well as I think I do, he's going to have a football in this kid's hands as soon as he can grip one. He'll be a huge fan of all our favorite Wisconsin teams, and it will only be a matter of time before Eli experiences his first game at Miller Park. Still, he's going to grow up in a very different world, one that I hope Zar prepares him for. Here's somethings that Eli is in store for, both in sports and otherwise:

* Brett Favre in a Packers jersey is going to be an odd site to him. By the time he turns about five or six (or maybe nine or ten, you never know with Favre), the old gunslinger will be getting inducted into the Hall of Fame. There will be highlights shown of him in a Vikings uniform, a Jets uniform, and even the classic ones in a Falcons uniform, that by the time he sees Favre in a Packers jersey he's going to be confused. Unlike how Bro Montana will always be remembered as a 49er rather than a Chief, I see Favre going down in history as a Viking rather than a Packer. That's a crazy thing to write, but in ten years I'll think you'll agree with me.

* Hey dad, who is this Madden guy and why does he get all the attention on Cris Collinsworth's video game?

* Every Brewers game he watches for the next 26 years will be scattered with references to the 2008 Milwaukee Brewers team. There will be 2008 throwback days, people talking on and on about that one time we beat the Phillies in Game Three of the NLDS, and despite his short tenure with Milwaukee CC Sabathia is going to be one of the first Brewers players he recognizes. That's right, Eli is going to dread hearing people talk about 2008 the same way we got sick of people talking about how great 1982 was. Seriously, no team in the history of sports has celebrated a season in which they weren't the overall champions as much as Milwaukee has celebrated that 1982 team.

* He's going to wonder why his dad will occasionally sit down to watch the Las Vegas Bucks on a December evening instead of the more local Chicago Bulls. He's also going to find it hard to believe that the arena that he's watching Sesame Street Live! in used to house a pro basketball franchise (Seriously though, if any team is moving to Vegas, it's the Bucks. That nickname actually almost suits Sin City better than it does Milwaukee).

* Dad, why does that creepy guy who calls himself "Uncle Bart" always come over drunk and ramble about some column he used to write for some website back in his "glory days?"

* But most importantly, in about fifteen years or so, he's going to wonder why college football doesn't yet have a playoff system.

TAKE THAT BCS!

Seriously though, major congratulations to the two of you, and best of luck with the new family.

And now, for some serious time wasting, here is every Kramer entrance in the history of "Seinfeld":

My first impressions of Brewers announcer Brian Anderson when I saw him at the Winter Warm-Up about two years ago were, "Wow, this guy is short." I was a huge Darron Sutton fan, so at first I thought that Brian Anderson was a little boring and a little dry. But at this point, I really couldn't imagine listening to anyone else call Brewers games, and he did a fantastic job announcing the NLDS between the Phillies and the Rockies. Anderson has a great voice, and brings the right amount of excitement to the big plays. He's way more deserving of the play-by-play role than Chip Caray is, and I really do think he'll be one of the games top television announcers within the next five years. Bonus points for how many times he'll mention the Milwaukee Brewers during a game in which they are not involved in.

This Week's Crazy Call of The Week: As stated, I work in a call center. This week I talked with a lady from Georgia, with one of the thickest southern accents I've heard since working there. When she asked where I was from, I told her I was from Wisconsin, and she replied with, "Oh, you're one of those damn Yankees!" Now I'm not sure what she really meant by that, but I'm leaning towards thinking she was talking to me while wrapped upin a Confederate flag themed Snuggie.

The Vikings are 5-0. Whatever. They'll either choke down the stretch because they have Favre, or choke down the stretch because, well, that's what the Vikings do. Now I'm not really worried about the Bears too much either, but if they end up trading for T.O., well then, we might have a little bit of a problem. Of course, the Packers season is over if we don't win the next two games against Detroit and Cleveland. Oh, and winning that game on November 1st would make me feel a lot better about things too. But hey, the two teams we lost to are a combined 9-1, so that's something to think about (I told you the Bengals are for real).

I really don't get why so many of you keep bashing soccer when you won't even give it a chance. I know it's cool to bash something you don't understand, hell, I did the same to hockey until I finally decided to get into it. I know that the MLS isn't that great of a product, and I know that a lot of the guys that played soccer when you were in high school were d-bags, but I'd like you guys to put that aside and get behind the United States on their quest to World Cup glory. The U.S. actually clinched a birth on Saturday, but still had one more game to play last night against Costa Rica. A tie or better meant that they would win their qualifying group for the entire North American region. The U.S. was down 2-0 early, but rallied and scored a goal in the game's final seconds to notch the 2-2 and win their group. Afterwards, the team went over to the sidelines, celebrated with fans, and then did an impromptu announcement over the PA system thanking the fans for all their support, both for the team and for their teammate Charlie Davies, who was injured in a car accident earlier this week. The whole scene was surreal, and I've never had so many goosebumps over a tied game before. I'm not asking you to become a diehard, but if you could find it in your hearts to get behind this team once every four years and follow them next summer, that would be great. The World Cup is the greatest sporting event in all of the world, and it would be a shame of you to miss it.

Without a doubt, the most influential player in fantasy football this season has to be the Dolphins' Ronnie Brown. There may be others that are more consistent, but Brown has been electrifying in that Wildcat offense this season (sidenote - I don't really think it's necessary to rename the Wildcat for every team. I mean, how many times did we hear the phrase "Wild Horses" last weekend?) Plus, Brown has come up huge on two different Monday Night football games already this season, which means a lot of games came down to his performance, both good and bad. Just last week, I lost against him in one league and he was one yard away from giving me the win in another league. Tons of matchups are being decided by Brown so far, so he has to be the most influential.

By the way, remember when I decided to like hockey this season? Well, so far, my team the Buffalo Sabres leads the Northeast Division with three wins and one overtime loss for a total of seven points. Not a bad choice so far.

This Week's Bluff Climber of the Week:

Who exactly is that you ask? Well that's Shawna Waldron. Who exactly is that? Well, she's actually the girl that starred as Icebox in the 90's football movie "Little Giants". Bluff Climber status thanks to the whole Michael Jackson thing she's got going on.

And with that, Winks Thinks will be taking the week off next week. It's going to be a busy couple of weeks, as I'm not only heading up to the Packers game this Sunday but I'm also heading to Cleveland next week for a 5-day extravaganza centered around the Packers game in the Dawg Pound. It's our 3rd annual Packers road game trip, with the last two years taking place in St. Louis and Nashville, respectively. So I'll be absent next week, but until then you can always catch the fabulous, non-proof read work we do at The Bucky Channel. No worries there, I'll have an extensive report the week after that about the trip to Cleveland, and I'll introduce you to all the ladies I'll likely bring back to the hotel room that weekend. Or at least, all the ladies that I start talking to, only to have my friends swoop in and bring them back.

And in honor of heading to The Cleve, let's realive the videos that inspired me to go there in the first place...

See you in The Cleve...